Exam Question Improvements

After feedback recently I have found many things in which I can do to help get my exam questions a higher mark. 

Things that I should do to improve these marks include:
- Using a lot more terminology in my answer to help boost marks and demonstrate that I know advanced terminology.
- To not repeat myself when writing about characters or scenes.
- Include more representations for men in the clip as well as women.
- Need to include more ideas on camera shots and editing in the clip.

Below is a paragraph from my essay question on the Prime evil clip and I have rewritten it, including more terminology and correcting my mistakes from before...

The women in the end scene with the larger man in the barn, starts off to seem reasonably calm by using over the shoulder shots which represents that this conversation is fairly 'normal' and friendly. In contrast to the 'harder' more counter typical women in the beginning scenes. This women in the barn is seen to be more of a stereotypical women with the use of mise en scene, because her attire is very revealing with cleavage and her thighs showing and is in a dress which represents how the women is seen in this position to satisfy the 'Male's gaze'. This is juxtaposed when the other manly, tomboyish women walks into the barn setting with the well presented, classy women. When the farmer then pulls a gun out on the women the tension heightens this is due to an increase of pace in the non-digetic sounds, including when the farmer pulls out the dangerous gun. The use of a close up shot on the terrified women helps us to see her emotions clearly. Before then hearing synchronous sounds from the shots being fired and the dogs beginning to bark, this also increases the tension of the scene. Because the man is holding and firing the gun this helps us to see that he is willing to kill  anyone that gets in his way, this conforms to the stereotype of a men liking guns and 'toys'. The two characters in this setting are not filmed together but are filmed individually in shots to help represent the tension and dislike they share for each other. But the only point in which the pair are seen in shot together is when there is a high angle shot which shows how the women is in a comprising and vulnerable position and this conforms to the stereotype of men and women. And how men are of higher status in society and have more power.
In conclusion, in the clip the representation of women is very divided between the two main female characters. The feminine women is seen as being the stereotypical materialistic women whereas the more manly women is the counter type of what women are seen as being. But the men in this clip are all generally seen as being strong, independent men and are seen with lots of weapons and Armour which is stereo typically what men are seen to be like. The only male character who subvert to a mans stereotype is a man at the end who is dressed in pink, with this use of mise en scene it makes us believe that this man may have a feminine outlook on things.